Long time, no see, dear blog.

Wow. It has been a long time since I've paid attention to this blog. There's been several times over the years that I thought about restarting it, but it never got beyond that. 

Now, in this time of COVID, riots and general upheaval, I find myself wanting to start blogging again for the same reason I started my little bitty, hand programmed (in early HTML, no less) one on Geocities all those years ago in the ancient times. 

I needed an outlet then, one that my ordinary journal didn't quite give me. I needed an outlet that boosted my confidence; something that said I matter. 

That's where I am now, with some very similar feelings. I know I'm not the only one having a tough year, but I was doing okay for a while. Everyone I know has been ill, broken bones, had multiple heart attacks and other issues. One family member has even died, but I handled it.

Then 2020 came for me and even the cat. I could barely walk with a knee injury and for most of last month, I didn't. I hobbled. Then my cat was attacked and had to have surgery. That's when I lost it and I didn't have enough spoons to go around. 

So here I am. Life continued on; people needed me to be there for them and me? I've seriously thought about counseling or therapy again, because I felt that I didn't have anyone I could lean on. 

I decided to come back here and do this instead. I am Pagan and supposedly, I have tools of my own to deal with these things. May as well remember who and what I am and use those tools. 

Because I matter.