Monday, March 21, 2005

Contributing to the delinquency...

Gee – it’s been so long since the last entry. I’m sorry for not writing. My sinuses decided to go on the offensive and I’m going through the after-effects now – the itchy ears and throat, coughing, sneezing and the like.

You know what? Despite what people say, sometimes happiness can be found in a bottle, especially if that bottle is filled with syrup designed to take care of the itchiness, coughing and all the rest.

This whole sinus thing did make me slow down for a while, though. I sat outside and watched the birds at the feeders. So far, I’ve seen golden finches, chickadees, titmice, cowbirds, cardinals, eastern towhees, blue jays, house wrens, nuthatches and a few I still can’t identify. I even saw two species of woodpecker yesterday. Oh yeah, the gangs of the bird world – grackles - have found the feeders as well. They eat everything but the smallest millet.

A little while ago, Wil Wheaton mentioned that he put up a feeder filled with Nyjer (a type of thistle) seed, which was “like crack for finches.” Well, I can tell you that it’s true – I keep thinking that I’m going to get busted for aiding and abetting avian delinquency.

I can see it now:

Headline: Local Woman Busted for Dealing
Byline: Joanie Snigglebottom, Staff writer

A local woman was arrested this morning and charged with Possession with the Intent to Distribute. Police raided the home of Azra about 4 A.M. this morning and found several pounds of Nyjer seed. Some of the seed had already been processed into feeders hidden in a nearby tree and the rest was found stored in plastic bags. The street value of the seed had not been determined at press time.

Nyjer seed is available over the counter in many stores that cater to birds. Finches seem especially vulnerable to the effects of the seed and often exhibit symptoms of severe addiction. However, this addiction is not limited to finches - other species use this seed as well. While police were collecting evidence at the Azra home, several Eastern Towhees and House Wrens were observed scratching on the ground below the hidden feeders for discarded seed. Currently, the Senate and House are pondering new legislations in an attempt to keep this addictive drug out the beaks of innocent birds.

When asked about the case, Police Chief John Farthington said, “Ms. Azra continues to claim that she has done nothing wrong. However, Ms. Azra has also implicated herself in this matter when she gave very detailed information on how the victims acted while under the influence of the seed – the multiple fights over a limited quantities, the cussing and other disruptive behavior. We are confident that a major player in the Nyjer distribution ring has been taken out of the game.”

Azra was released later in the morning after making the bail, which had been set at $5.97. She did not return this reporter’s phone calls for comment.

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