Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Wishcasting Wednesday

Jamie Ridler says on her website: "You can be a maker of magic and a tender of wishes. It's easy." All you have to do is answer the prompt on your blog and link in. Today's prompt is "What do you wish to know?"

Oh gods, there's an entire universe, both out there and in here. What don't I want to know?

Some of the things I want to know are pretty mundane, if fangirly. Will Atlantis ever get back to the Pegasus galaxy? (I hope so.) What was it Sam felt so bad about before he died in "Under the Dome"? Will we ever get to ogle see Wolverine in another movie? (Oh god yes, please.)

All right, I suppose I won't waste wishes on those.

Other things I want to know: why do all the best songs come on the radio just as you have to leave or get out of the car? Why do I always have plenty of pennies in my pocket, except when I need them? How does my cat always know when I have something to eat, even when he's two floors down and outside?

I guess I won't waste wishes on those either. Sometimes it's better and more fun to wonder than to actually know.

Will we ever find definitive proof of life elsewhere in this big universe of ours? Is this the only one or are there many, many other universes? Can everything be explained and unified by one little elegant equation, like Einstein tried to find? I kind of hope not on that last one. I'm not so sure I want everything explained. Not only does it seem to be way too much diversity to be explained with one tiny equation but honestly - what fun would there be in it? There wouldn't be any mystery left.

What's life without a little mystery?

So what is it exactly do I wish to know? There are so many directions to go in. Spirit, career, love to name a few. I may as well go for a big wish, one that is a little scary as hell for me. May as well kick that fear to the curb, even though I know it won't go without a lot of screaming and kicking of its own.

I know I am a solitary person. I don't need someone in my life 24/7. In fact, I need solitude in order to function or things can get very ugly and surly. It's just the way I am. I don't need to be "completed," "made honest" or "a real woman" by another person.

Even so, this doesn't mean I don't want to share things with someone. Someone who can appreciate the mystery, the splendor, awesomeness of this universe but doesn't need someone around 24/7 either. Of course, I say that now. We could choose to be inseparable, for all I know.

Thing is, I'm not sure I know how to do this. I was with someone a long time. It wasn't perfect (what is?) but it was relatively stable. I guess a part of me decided, for good or whatever, that was it. When it was over...I don't know. How do you undo a decision you weren't even sure you made until it was taken away?

So here is my wish. I wish to learn how to let go of this thing that doesn't even exist anymore. I wish to learn how to let go so I can get on with living, loving and even more creative insanity.

This is my wish, I reckon so. (Heh. Thank you Josey Wales.)