News

HEADLINE: Sumner County woman rescued
BYLINE: Joannie Snigglebotham, contributing editor

A Sumner County woman had to rescued today by her local Volunteer Fire Department. The woman, Azra, had somehow became entangled while trying to get out of a pair of overalls. Neighbors heard the woman's cries for help and called the fire department.

"We are still investigating what exactly happened," said Mark Malone, the chief of the volunteer fire department. "At first, we thought we had walked in on some kind of bizarre crime scene. Somehow, Ms. Azra got hopelessly entwined in a pair of overalls. We even had to remove the door to the room she was in. We don't know how the strap got knotted around the doorknob or how one leg got wrapped around the base of the sink. We are particularly interested in discovering how the other strap got tied around the light fixture, which is in a seven foot ceiling. The one thing we know for sure is that Ms. Azra has a great set of lungs. Her nearest neighbor is several hundred yards away."

Ms. Azra is resting in the Sumner County Regional Medical Center, where she was admitted for observation. When asked about the incident, the only statement she was willing to make was, "How embarrassing."