Momisms

She doesn't come across them often but sometimes, when there is a dry spell between "Momisms," I forget how entertaining they can be. Yes, my mom can make interesting use of the English language. Many a time, I can remember what she said more than the actual event.

Case in point: It's been about two years now but I can remember her response to something funny. I can barely remember the event involved some guy that had been acting like he was THE MAN but that's all. Still, like it was just a few minutes ago, I can hear her on the phone saying, "Yeah - I saw that. I about laughed my pants!"

Other times, I can't help but remember what brought about the "momism." I remember the time she found some socks at a flea market that were the exact color she wanted. Thankfully, we were in the car when she took them out and read the label. Upon reading that this particular brand of sock was suitable for both men and women, she gleefully proclaimed, "Hey! I've got bisexual socks!"

So tonight, there was a new one to add to the list. She called to tell me about an encounter she and my aunt T. had earlier. It seems while they were walking, this drunk guy stopped to talk to them. Now, this guy is almost a neighbor. He lives a mile or two away, so it's not like it was some strange guy just stopping randomly. They knew him. As the tale goes, not only did this guy want to talk to them but when he got out of his truck, his pants were wet too. My mom said, "I couldn't tell if he had spilled something or if it was something else but he was as drunk as a bicycle! Then he had the nerve to ask T. if she was married!"

Like I said, my mom can make interesting use of the English language. I don't know exactly how drunk bicycles can get but I think I've got a fairly good idea. I bet she about laughed her pants tonight, too.