Wednesday, October 12, 2005


So much for blogging more often. Bleh.

I'm in some kind of a funk today. Actually, I think I've been in it for a few. I've gotten off one sketch of an old key I found at an Antique Mall in Franklin KY but that's it. I tried to do a painting using last week's theme on Illustration Friday but it just came off looking like something a four year old would do - and not in a good way. I also tried to do a quick sketch of Spook sleeping nearby but it just turned to mud.

This has not been helpful. I've been doubting my own self lately. Again. There is probably a simple reason for it: not putting enough planning into the prelim stages; not seeing the subject as it really is and projecting how I want it to be instead, etc, etc, etc.

It doesn't help that I don't have much of a support system right now. It seems that my dad is the only one who is willing to champion my cause. Only thing about that is that I don't see him that often. I don't talk to my mother about it at all, especially after something she said last week. Apparently, I don't do anything when I'm home. Apparently, I just sit in this house, staring at the walls or watching TV because she said, "You just go down to the barn to get away from the house, don't you?"

"No. I go down there to work." (Thinking that I can't be an artist and sell my work if I don't put in the work to produce it or make it better.)

"So you go down there to get away from the house and the house to get from the barn?"

"No. I go down there to work," which earned me a look that said that she knew perfectly well what I did here but she wasn't going to disillusion me of it.

I don't know. Maybe I missed something but I don't think so. I just wish for, who am I kidding? I'm just going to have to buck up and muddle through.

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